Coffee as a Class A Drug

No matter how much love and hope you may have for mankind, there will always be those certain individuals, like incorrigible grass stains in our clearly perfect utopia, who attain their essential daily fuel from methamphetamine, mescaline, cocaine or even something as horrible as... a cup of joe - all this to at least semi-functionally start (and continue) the day.
Yes. That black cup of liquid orgasmic heaven is my crack - as well as that of about 1/3 of the world's population. We are those damn grass stains.
Think about it. We could virtually rule the world.

Coffee - noun \ˈkȯ-fē, ˈkä-\  a beverage made by percolation, infusion, or decoction from the roasted and ground seeds of a coffee plant
                Merriam - Webster Dictionary

 So, how can this little cup of coffee do so much harm to a healthy, functional human being? Well probably because that healthy, functional human being has about 4 of those per day. On average. 

I'm sure most people have read an article here and there about them damning effects of coffee - sucks out calcium from your bones, makes your teeth color up like dog piss or gives you that good ol' kick in the ass once you have been categorized as a coffee addict. Yep. There is such a thing.

Coffee, addictive? Who would have thought. Seattle Times (2004) definitely did. Along with so many other scientific institutions, it would blow your mind. Another mind fuck, on the other hand (gasp) is that studies looking at beneficial effects of coffee are now equal to studies researching the opposite.

True, over indulging that sexy body with coffee will not do you any good - but that's with virtually anything anyway. Even exercise. That is right ladies and gentlemen. Even exercise. 

Same thing with addiction. Anything can turn into addiction. In the case of coffee for example, it would most likely be the caffeine, but the taste plays a huge part as well.

I do in fact drool over the thought of coffee. It never really noticeably wakes me up... But it's the taste I'm rooting for. 

Anyway.. benefits. Even though the following assets are correlates, so are the detrimental effects of coffee indulgence. Women drinking around 7 cups a day of coffee when pregnant, decrease their chances of miscarriages. Woot. There never really was any rock hard scientific evidence that coffee could damage an embryo. Parkinson's and Alzheimer's development are also decreased by drowning yourself in coffee. 

Another fun fact... Coffee acts as a natural laxative. That stuff goes right through you..

In the end, coffee will always be my crack. When I first started drinking it at about 13, I remember my dad said to me - "So what, you're poisoning yourself with that shit just because all the cool kids drink it?".. Yes was my answer actually. I wanted to be cool, holding that Starbucks cup, walkin around like I was the shit. 

Coffee made me a cool kid. 

And then it became my crack. 

Huh. Ironic isn't it.

*This post is dedicated to my favourite dollface - http://misskasia.blogspot.com*

EDIT.

I do plan on eventually publishing a little coffee calorie chart. Quick 'n' easy. 

EDIT.

Eventually..