Tuesday 25 December 2012

Merry Christmas, fatties :)

Why is it so hard to just leave that crispy, juicy, melt-in-the-mouth turkey alone? Ah, man and all those trimmings, and the gravy, and look at those perfectly plump potatoes, plucked straight from the fat tree.

Why is it, that everytime you convince yourself you're looking fine, shakin' what yo mamma gave ya, cousin Skinny Bitch, after eating those three hellish bites of turkey across the Christmas table goes:


     "I can't eat anymore or I'll explode... Guess SOMEONE'S going to get that Christmas belly"




We all know her. We all want to kill her.
If you don't know her.. Well.. I got some news for you.

Personally, I make sure to lose those 2 or 3 pounds just in time for Christmas - so there's always enough room for dessert, baby.
But if I have a big slab of meat drowned in gravy and wrapped in bacon, stuffed with some more bacon, surrounded by potatoes and decorated with some more gravy, all put in front of me (by Grandma, dearest).. I will inhale it.
I have been starving myself out of those last 2 pounds - I will inhale that shit up and ask for seconds.

There are three main points of Christmas and Thanksgiving.
  • You drink
  • You eat.
  • A lot
 There's also the silent rule, that states one must use and abuse all of the above.


Ps. I hate bacon.

1 comment:

  1. I love food. And i love you. And i am definitely NOT that Skinny Bitch girl. Those girls, ugh.
    But i love food. I have been inhaling it like you, or even more, because of this stupid Swedish project. Im bored and im eating. Christmas should be celebrated as the foodie holiday of the year. But NYE we will eat even more! YAY. Then it's time to lose all that shit again. Beach body summer 013, here we come baby!
    Plus some of us need to look good now-ish anyway............. heeheehee ;) XOXO <3

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